superstarr

2005-05-26T00:41:00.000-07:00

I've MOVED. again. hahas.

click on the link below.
shifted

2005-05-23T13:11:00.000-07:00

i want that roxy top!! But its so ex. Its 50, feebs is willing to sponsor 10bucks to it. But my mum still doesnt allow me to buy it.raah! Its a nice black top. =)

im currently being quite uselful.HAHA.helping my brother to draw the words "my contacts" for his hmmms.I dont know what its for either.haha.anyhow, Im just drawing! happily!! hurhurs.

wait wait people.im changing my template again. heeee. brb. =))

2005-05-20T22:57:00.000-07:00

My house, is invaded with pests. They keep biting me and I hate it.

We got all our papers back today. They were atrociously done. I only passed 3, emaths english and chinese. I failed the rest with an e8 and f9. I cant do anything about it, and I've already used up all of my tears yesterday. I couldnt cry anymore. Sorry to those I've pointed the middle finger to and with the word fuckk. I didnt wanna talk anymore. But I literally shouted at my mum practically letting out everything. stupidity. Why had I wasted time on her when she doesnt CARE?

ho hum.nobody reads this these days. I dont wish to talk about anything today. Not in the mood to. take care. :))

?I dont like you talking to her. JEALOUS. why must she even be on your list of people to call when you cant reach me? I dont like her. MEAN people dont wait for others when they know its a matter of 5mins. ASS. I think my life is so SCREWED now. I need some time alone darling. I dont exactly want to talk to you these days. I've been thinking a lot lately about school, home and more importantly, YOU. Tell me tt I'm not imagining things, but I feel kinda unwanted now. OH YES. I totally forgot about your O's. But I dont think its the reason why you dont have enough time for me. hurhur. I still wanna love you, but its quite hard now. sighs. Tell me its NOT happening. Take care of yourself, its not good to be sick. =)

everything i say, she takes it the wrong way.

2005-05-19T19:36:00.000-07:00

unproductive day. so lazy, so lazy, so lazzzyyyyyy.ugh.move me.

I was sleepy today, came to school with all the undone work...awful feeling. but anyhow, I got to find out things again today. and now I see the picture how this links to tt and so on. now I understood all those messages tt were written in blogs. Its a whole complicated thing going on, and it'll not be as complicated as it seems when one gives way to the other. im quoting Paris Hilton, "People think I'm stupid. But I'm smarter than most people." ha.

I forgot to give credits to the person whom I've taken the poem from in the previous entry. so, thanks PEARLE. love you babe. I'll try getting you a present yeas? But tell me your birthday, dont tell me its coming. hurhur.=)).

camp patrols are being sorted out. Only Chantel and I aren't holding any leadership position. how cool ehs. we wouldnt have to stay up late for COH and get all those reprimanding. We'll just play and mix around. fun fun. yipee! uhh. I was just trying to console myself la. hahs. But its okay, I have Chantel-the Pamela freak, and she has me-the Chantel freak. haha. we rock.

OBIWAN KENOBI, that Star Wars guy is my patrol's name. hurhur. Sufiartie's the partrol leader and Clarisa the patrol second. I like them. We're such lazy people and we refuse to cook packed lunch. We'll just pack burgers for the company, and cereals for breakfast cause we dont wanna get up early. Live with it. haha. But our budget, suprisingly, is 69.90. I need a reason for this. Its way too expensive.

And there's this Maths Trail today for the first two periods. Our group was supposed to find the height of the tallest point in the hall from the ground. And we used Pythagoras Theorem, Trigo and the Clinometer to measure the elevation. Tell me we're smart. haha. We looked like some professionals doing all those working. Raah! :D

I got to know my combined science results today too. its a 40.8, an E8. I couldnt believe tt I got a 9 out of 30 for Chemistry. I thought 5 out of 25 meant the MCQ, but its for the actual paper. sighs. I really dont know how am I gonna explain all these to my parents, especially my mum. She wouldnt give a shit to any of my explanations. I just hope tt my CA will pull me up, tremendously. I didnt do well for AMaths either. there're 4 passes from 304 and 1 from 305. It wouldnt be me for sure. ='(.

Im gonna work those brains, fats and asses off during the holidays. I'll be productive. I'm looking at the bright side. Hairunnisha really helped me, and so did Amira. Thanks a lot babe :)

its RAINING.

?HEY. Cheng Siang. Im imprinting your name right here. BIG and BOLD. haha. You're an ass okay, scream at me on the phone huhs! I know how to cook kaes. Unlike you, only know how to go out and PLAY. haha. lousy. and Im gonna leave a msg for HER. hahaha. take care =) and go ahead, get jealous.

?DARLINGG. i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you. Dont get jealous la. HE is not important. haha. HUGGGGSSS.

?uhhh. I'll update this later. SOMEONE didnt gave me the mood to. =(

2005-05-17T23:23:00.000-07:00

I don't see you every day,
But that's the way it's gotta be.
Just knowing you are there
Is good enough for me.

You've hugged me when I'm ill,
You've hugged me when I've cried,
You've helped me through the hardest times,
Without even a sigh.

You're always on my mind,
No matter what I do,
Wherever I go, Whatever I see...
It always leads back to you.

I hope you have enjoyed reading
Because I will always and truly love you.

=))love you my sweet lil baby darling*.

2005-05-16T23:54:00.000-07:00

and this is how we will end
with you and me bent

im kinda lazy to update.but since YOU told me to update, I'll do it. anyhow,this has to be updated sooner or later.so I'll just do it now.raah! lazy. LAZY LAZY.

i cant figure out how to add my doodleboard in so people can tag on them. I cant find the htmls.yea. they're annoying me.and the links are invisible, just go through your cursor over them and you'll find the names down the list.but it'll be updated soon.sorry peeps! =))

anyways, im supposed to go out with you* today. but, you're sick.so i had to pull feebie along with me to visit you.haha. i feel really bad to her though.and she's like the extra light bulb huhs.haha. interupting our privacy.ahaha.but the show was kinda hilarious. their actions and all.haha.im pretty amazed at their BURN BOOK.i'll make one myself too.haha.and feebs shall be the first on the list.hahaa. we idled around her house and she fell asleep but i was too noisy and she had to wake up, sadly.ahaha.i want another hug! =))

oh well.sorry feebie. for not following you to meet jeanette and the others.but i think we bowled quite well anyways. it was embarrassing for two people compared to those on the other lane huhs.their numbers are scary!!haha. oh yes. a 97 and 106 huhs? haha. winks* haha.but.know wad?i dont wanna go cyclingg!!!! remember we're supposed to save money for great singapore sale?!!haha. then we can splurge then! haha. happy hour!!!haha =))

?darlinggg.get well soon yeahs. i might go to your house tomorrow, and we'll watch confessions of a teenage drama queen!!haha. i like your sofa alot.it sinks in.hahaha. oh yes.happy anniversary. haha.funny.dont get jealous ready kaes?ilu!! =)))
?YOU!!ah beng!!!so sick cia.talk about all those things.your brain needs cleaning.godd.ahhaa. uhh.i thought you were shorter than me can!you look short.hahaha.i didnt know you're 167. ahaha.oh well. i have no comments on that.take care!!
?feebieee sohh!!haha. thanks for being so nice to me yea. you really look like a ball when you curl up onto pat's chair.ahah. funny.take care babe! love ya.

2005-05-06T15:38:00.000-07:00

I see the light die in your eyes
Cos you're scared you'll hurt
So you don't wanna try

its a feel fat afternoon, i will not eat too much tomorrow. my appetite scares me, i am a disgustingly greedy girl.

i told myself again and again not to be distracted by anything that gets along the way but i cant seem to make it. im hearing things, probably thats why i've been thinking too much lately too. my mood swings extremely fast. i get emotional and temperamental easily. its a bad week.

the paper today was supposed to be easy. i know i have studied them and took note of them too. i have even gone through with jeanette this morning. she told me it was important. yea. so why would i forget the answer? i think im seriously getting dumb. i dont know how to explain myself and i cant take it any longer. no one seems to understand my situation.

i didnt want to go home. its like a daily routine, that the people here just keep shouting at each other. and everyone here argues and reasons out the most unreasonable things. she only cares about academics, she doesnt know anything else. he only cares to eat and sleep. he thinks im lazy and not helping out. even he climbs over me. this is not a family.

i didnt feel like going anywhere at all. i have no appetite. no energy. i didnt want to do this and that. i just felt like its impossible to go on. i just wanted to disappear.

i dont even remember smiling happily and genuinely.

?its like i dont know you anymore and you dont know me either. its like suddenly we're worlds apart. it's like suddenly this barrier has grown so big & there's no turning back. you and I dont share things any longer. it's like suddenly i've faded away, somewhere into your memory.

..only you barely remember me

?i was at my worst. a disaster. im sorry for dragging you along with me everywhere i went. although i needed you the most but you were tired. i guess you just cant seem to see through me. i wanted to cry, but i controlled, and i didnt. and i dont blame you. i still love you.

please let tomorrow be better, i honestly hope it'll be better & maybe it will, just maybe.
toodles-

2005-05-04T20:07:00.000-07:00

Love is like a butterfly

The more you chase it

the more it eludes you

But if you just let it fly

it will come to you

when you least expect it

Love can make you happy but often

it hurts

but love's only special

when you give it to someone

who is really worth it

So take your time

and choose the best.

______________________________

Love isnt about becoming

somebody else's "perfect person."

It's about finding someone

who helps you become

the best person you can be

______________________________

Never say "I love you."

if you dont care

never talk about feelings

if they aren't there

never touch a life

if you mean to break a heart

never look in the eye

when all you do is lie

the crulest thing a person

can do to someone

is to let her fall in love

when that person doesnt intend

to catch her fall

_____________________________

Heartbreaks last as long as you want

and cut as deep as you allow them to go

the challenge is not

how to survive heartbreaks

but to learn from them

_____________________________

How to be in love:

Fall but dont stumble

be consistent but not too persistent

share and never be unfair

understand and try not to demand

and get hurt but never keep the pain

________________________________

It breaks your heart to see

the one you love being with someone else

but it's more painful to know that

the one you love is unhappy with you

_____________________________

Love hurts when you

break up with someone

It hurts even more when someone

breaks up with you

But love hurts the most

when the person you love

has no idea how you feel

for a few moments

my mind went wild

with the irrational possibilities

and i just wanted to cry

suddenly i was feeling depressed

i was utterly and totally stressed

?i love my psycho girlfriend. you're on my mind, I can't let you go. I'm all alone and I just want you to hold. take my hand and never let me go. =))

2005-05-02T22:27:00.000-07:00

i wonder whats with people writing msges for each other these days. it seems like a trend ehs. haha. oh well. whatever. im gonna write for people too.

exams are tomorrow, but i dont exactly feel pressurised. i dont know why either. and im always getting sick everytime during the exam period. even my dad realises it too. i just finished using a whole box of tissue blowing my nose away. sniff*

oh man. i need somebody to save me la! i've got no chinese dictionary thats approved by the sacss department. and paper 1 is tomorrow! sheesh. im officially DEAD. rah! my aunt just taught me chinese. i think im being streamed wrongly, i ought to be in band 5 not band 3. haha. i cant read one whole sentence in a chapter without getting aid from her. and i stammer a lot while reading. haha. i feel like a useless bum. bah! -_-

i dont really care any more. everything seems USELESS. totally. i cant help myself at all. ='((

?can you see im leaving you a msg now?!! haha. im not forcing myself la. im doing this on my own accord. see?im nice, dont deny the fact. haha. hmmms. dont be scared girl. she's an idiot la i know. she just screams at you for no reason rite. hahaa! she claims that that isnt the most scariest side of her yet. come on, lets try to make the hell out of her, and we'll see her scariest side of her then. wahahas. good luck for your exams bestie. love ya sweetie.

?you are so mean. i changed your template and you changed it back. i wasted all my precious time. okay ya. so you're gonna say you didnt ask me to change at all right. okay. i shall not do anything for you next time ready. you said you were gonna go home with me but you ended up with them. but i know you'll make them upset if you dont go with them. i dont need you to go home with me tomorrow la. updated*

?bepa! haha. you moron! buy for ahem her birthday present and dont buy for me the adidas bottle la! okay lor. you best. how can you compare our 2year friendship with that person you just got to know this year harh? im so sad. haha!! i want that bottle okay!! i dont care. you MUST buy one for meee! haha. happy sleeping pig. =))

?bimbo!! in case you didnt realised, your msg is on the previous entry! lalala..! haha. love ya babee! =))

2005-04-29T21:11:00.000-07:00

school was great today. well, sort of. we had free two free periods and class party during pc lessons. msnunis bought cakes and food for us. she left out the drinks. haha. and we played the frog game thingy, with 35 since they also had free periods and they came down to the kitchen to look for us. and then truth or dare. feebie had to kiss babara, and it wasnt even a proper kiss la. she's not experienced at it. haha. then she dared me to to that to candy. omg. of all ppl, her. how shitty can it get. haha. but. i did it. you should see that contented face of hers. as if i want to do it to her. i wouldnt in a million years. talk about being mean ehs, right patty? haha.

nwys, you should see the amt of books in my locker. haha. its MY locker, and i dont even have a single book that belong to me inside. haha. its either karen's, joy's, tiff's or feebs. i wanted to wait for ahem. someone to finish her tables and everything, so we went back to class. nad taught us some new beats. and we were beating, okay slamming the tables with those nice new beats. how cool. and when everyone did it together, woah. its the sound of music. haha.

we cabbed to eastpoint to eat at bk. chant, feebs and pat. pat went home right away cause she wanted to study her chinese. hehhs. and it was a total hilarious time spent with feebs and chantel. we should have more of the chantel-pamela-phoebe sessions after exams, right? its like so funny i tell you on what we did and we were practically laughing every single minute in bk. haha. we left our bags then walked around. and we saw many sacians. haha. nothing really significant anyway. haha.

you know you're still there

i love what's left of you

& miss what now is gone

guess the only thing

we've done is moved on

?i doubt you'll ever read this at this period of time. but anyways. you shouldnt really think over things especially during the exam period. its just gonna distract you a lot. you need to pull yourself together girl. dont be so weak. you cant do anything about it. she is not gonna not talk to you for the rest of your life rite, she's prolly just angry at you for now. but she'll get over it soon i hope. smile. =))
?i love you dar. a lot. haha. i cant wait to see you again. im alrdy missing you so much. study hard yea? especially your chinese. mine's hopeless. i cant do chinese for nuts. haha. ilu. huggs.
?you!better not announce this thing that happened to everyone. its not spectacular. i'll just cone you if you do. hahaa!
?pamela-freak. haha. now you know whats the meaning of 'cb' ready huh? hahaha! dick. haha. cant wait to cya in the busstop again on tues. haha. meet me unless its raining alrights? take care BIMBO! haha.pamela loves you! =))

2005-04-23T19:51:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY VERENA!!! im so sorry i couldnt make it to your party. really.but i'll get you your present soon yarhs? hope you had lots of fun. *hugs* =))

this week hasnt been great for me.not even good at least. i've been talked to by teachers about my behaviour, attitude bla. and i have to write FOUR apology letters! and the best part is, my english isnt good at all. i had to rack my brains for proper sentences and words to use.

the whole week was totally full of tests. chinese, geography, physics, chemistry, emaths. emaths wasnt that bad. i think i'll scrape it. chinese was okay too. just that i didnt know how to do the paper.but the complaint letter was uh-okay. physics just drives me nuts. i studied the moment i got back home till night and the next morning again. we knew it was gonna come out all from the tys. but my mind was a total blank when the paper stoood in front of me! i was completely mad then sad for the whole day. and i only managed to get a 17 out of 30. its terrible considering it was all from tys. i took my geography test in rtc after school with melissa, feebie and christabella cause we were in the dentist when the class was having the test. it was okay too. but i wont do well. for sure.

i couldnt understand what the teachers were teaching. totally confusing me. im panicking and no one helps me. i dont want the exams to come, but they have to somehow. i really dont know what to do.everyone's studying so hard. you dont see anyone in the canteen these days. everyone just disappears after school. only the syf girls are around. im seriously at my wits end. i cant make it. i cant seem to memorise or remember anything for nuts. is either that or i would forget after learning another thing. there's so many things going on. and on. no one cares. really.

?i know you do come here to read sometimes.i just wanna say thanks. for sitting with me by the poolside letting me tell you everything about whats going on. im so glad that you're around. i wouldnt have known what to do without you. thanks so much. im looking forward to our tennis practice again. its gonna be a HOT day.sheesh. =))

i needed to add this here.
?there.all cleared. and this one's for you. yupp. i want my HUG! haha. okays. done. love ya darling.

hello!

2005-04-16T15:29:00.000-07:00

your blog is dead. (yes.!)
there's nothin here.
but no worries.patty is here to make it alive!
this is the new episode of THE INVASION. (lame.)
haha.well,pamela is obviously lazy to update this thing.
and I being the kind soul (sheesh.) that i am.is helpin her to update.
rah.rah.rah.
alright.shant let you guys read anymore of my crap (great!)
cause i can tell tt u're dyin of boredom.haha.

'Ask me how much you mean to me
And I wouldn't even know where to start
Ask if this love runs deep in me
And you won't find a deeper love in any heart.
Ask me just what I'd do for you
And I'll tell you I would do anything
Ask if this heart beats true for you
And I'll show you a truer heart could never be.
If you say that you love me.
More than anybody.
Than anyone's ever been loved before.
As much as you love me.
Baby, I'll still love you more.
I'll still love you more.

i cmnted on the brackets. yupps.
ciao.

2005-04-02T14:10:00.000-08:00

im sorry i left the entry rotting. i dint know anyone else would read except the regulars. haha.

"metal butts"
"red rectangle"
"marineparade south east cdc"
"find the girl with two hairbands" [this was the MOST useless!]
erm. i cant really remember the rest of the clues. this were the funny clues nic gave to find the items to be inside the first aid box. and the girl with two hairbands. carissa! haha! we were supposed to think of a song in 10mins describing the first aid box. so we could get the answer. oriole and kingfisher were gruped together. luckily we had feebie. we couldnt think of any other song otherwise. hahaa. and the song goes like this after much ammendments:

things in the first aid box, small or big, small or big, small or big
things in the first aid box small or big, all you need.
plasters, bandages and dressings.
scissors, little gloves and tweezers.
things in the first aid box,small or big
all you need.
[sung to the tune of some lil kids song!]

kind of stupidd. but we were proud of it. haha. and then we went to carissa. after we sang, she gave us this ASPIRIN! who needs an Aspirin in the first aid box?!??!! woah. so much for singing. haha! but anyhow, we just went on with the game. who has time to complain? haha.

and for the practice of directions, to pass the test, we had to pick up tennis balls being blindfolded. hahaa! and ameera got her d and t apron to be the blindfold! funny. but nvm. its just ameera.haha! chantel was ask to stand out of the grass patch cause she was cheating! ahahs! then me. and feebie! ahhaha!! and we started cheering for our people, shouting all about and then punishment. ahaha. to pick up the rest of the tennis balls. hahaa! yeahs. but it was fun la. at least we were helping the tennis people rite. hehs.

we had lots of free time after that. so chantel and i sat on the grass patch and talk. with nic, linette and kelly. yupps. for quite long while waiting for the sec ones to finish their test on the history of guiding. heh. after we had to practice the horseshoe formation for enrolment. and no one was sympathetic enough to take over the timing after i did for so long. exhausting. haha. and we just stood there, for an hour until i had to go for prefects duty in the parents nite.

secthrees combination's damn good. every class takes bio and amaths. and even the lousiest class had 7subjects.

and 306 has the best combination. how lucky can they get. haha. anyways, parents nite ended at 900 and we cleared up the area until 10. haha! actually i dint clear anything at all. i was just talking to patrina and carried some chairs back. then called my dad and he picked me up for supper.

oh well. that was all yesterday. im supposed to be doing my homework and revising for the mid years. haha!
toodles~!

2005-03-19T01:25:00.000-08:00

im updating for the time we went town on thursday! haha.
we met up early in the morning in somerset mrt station. she made me wake up. early. as. nine. hahha.

town was so desserted. we could just run down the whole stretch of road and shout aloud and no one would complain. hahha! and ya. we were walking aimlessly right? haha! then we sat outside cheers and talked. about wad to do since all the shops were closed. and she kept going on and on about swimming. that she wants to go back home early to swim. whoa! so irritated. then why ask me to come out so early for what la. haha! but she eventually stopped. phew~

took the lift up to buy movie tickets in cine. ahha! i still cant believe we watched such a kiddy show! hahha. its spongebob. haha. embarrassing to get into the theatre at first but there were lots of hunks and babes watching. so we were not the only childish ones. haha. i really think patrick is so CUTE!! haha. so fat, round and blur! haha! funny. funny. funny.

she was on a shopping spree after the movie. i wonder why her mood changes so quickly. haha. we entered this roxy shop in pacific plaza and she bought a handbag for 26. imagine that. not the price but the person who bought it. haha! walk and walk and walk to wisma. then she bought this roxy pullover for her sister's birthday. and its 95. she felt poorer by 100 after that. haha! so she withdrawed 100 from her account. and yes. she bought 3 giordano tops that cost 44. haha! not those loose ones. but those fitted ones! ahahaha!! i was just tailing her everywhere we go. haha! and i realised we have the same taste. saddening. hahaha!! but anyhows. haa.

i was supposed to go cut my hair in far east. her hairdresser. but she was on an off day. yeas. so didnt cut after all. we didnt buy denyse's cake too. cause there wasnt any delievery for that amount of money. and both of us couldnt make it on friday too. sorry denyse. hehhs. yupps. i left out those insignificant details. i bet you are not interested anyways. guess the person however. and its funny on the things she bought which are for herself! hahahaa!

ciaos!

`you're a great shopping partner man! ahah. we have similar taste in almost everything except you know...guys! ahaha. you're a bit low class ah. haha! and thanks for being so considerate yeahs. allow me to choose any movie i wanna watch instead of what i promised i would watch with you. really sorry abt that too kaes. and you're learning to take public transport instead of cab, cab, parent's car, cab. ahha! had lots of fun. even though i embarrassed you by talking loudly at times. ahaha! but yahs. thats me. oh. and one more thing. your stupid sister is going to watch movie with her girlfriend tommorrow! hahahaha! funny. love ya lots. take care. huggs.

2005-03-11T23:44:00.000-08:00

im feeling damn sickk. god. im so gonna die. *coughs*

`done.
sighs-

2005-03-10T19:31:00.000-08:00

oh yay! no more school for one whole week. but yeahs, the teachers gave us entertainment for the week. smart them. hahha! and we are going to have our carnival this saturday~! double yayy! im gonna be in charge of prize redemption. how stupid is that. at least im not involve in first aid. thats even worse. ladeedumdeedum-

the rides in our carnival is p-a-t-h-e-t-i-c. they look as though it has not been cleaned since the last century, the choice of colours is digusting and they are only suitable for children. children. omg. im so scared ridinggg the pirate shippp~. shucks man. i dont even think i could fit into the seat. hahaa!

prefect's meeting was a total disaster. okay. so i know my hair's touching the collar, i rolled my skirt, i eat in class, but why does she have to mention it sarcastically in front of everyone?!! like pls. im not the only one who's doing all these, why dont she tell her own form class off? isn't theirs worse? and its not that i dont want to tie my hair, but it cant be tied! even the rubberband is thicker than my tail!!! and who wants to look like an idiot walking around the school?!! please. even she wouldnt want herself to look like a fool rite. everyone tries to look their best. and i dont even find it sloppy! #$@%&!* am i irritated or what. she wouldnt have picked on me if that incident didnt happen and the worse thing is, you told her what happened.

hmmms. i guess sometimes life's unfair. you dont get credited for the good things you've done. you're not even being recognised for it. but a mere mistake could change one whole person's impression of you. sighs. so what's the use of trying when you can never prove yourself..

`look. we didnt want this to happen. its not as if only she and i are against you. the whole group are. do you have to make a friendship turn sour just because of her? do you see that despite all that you've done, backstabbing, bad-mouthing, we didnt even let the person whom you like know anything? how would you like it if you were in other's shoes? being backstabbedconstantly? do you see that you came to me and ssaid bad things about a____? and you went to her and start backstabbing me? i know you didnt want me in your cip group. its like so obvious, of course people would tell me. and i guess your bad-mouthing goes very far ehs? within a day, everyone knows that pamela is childish. oh wow. do you think i'd care?!! it doesnt affect me in any way, cause i trust them and i DONT backstabb them. you're not gonna get anywhere if u continue on like this. people have changed their views about you.

`darling!!! hahha! sorry couldnt wait for you today. lazy and i would look like a loner waiting. the weather is just killing me can?!! haha! and can you please add in interesting information in ur blog instead of lyric lyrics and more lyrics?! hahaha! its like its being revived for nothing. hehhs. cya around school~! huggs.

2005-03-01T16:49:00.000-08:00

i was born of you
part of you forever
yet sometimes, in tears, you ask
can i feel what you feel?

The very hands that feed me
an assault on my ear
a brutal slam across my face
can you feel what i feel?

i never meant to hurt you
you never meant to hurt me
when will we both understand?
_____________________________

i flinch sometimes from your violent strike
yet lose myself in the tenderness
the tenderness that is my mother
you say you love me,
and yet restrict me,
your harshness burns a scar.

i asked you once,
in the heat of battle
a rhetorical question
though forbidden it seemed

'are you happy yet?'
i spat out, hot tears burning
facade all but defiant
inside contorting in the
urgency to know.

it merely earned a forceful slap
and even more forceful words
i wanted to know, i asked you a question
but deep inside, the knowing it
needed no answer
Hurt.

2005-02-26T21:31:00.000-08:00

i've decided that i shall not take any pioneer thingy or watsoever if i got the chance. hahha. look at those people. i kind of feel sorry for their burnt hair. haha. hilarious. really.

came to school with chantel and amira. man. im becoming a chantel-freak. hahha! and guess wad, i already started pespiring when the hike havent even started! ms tan and ms lim asked us to clear their tools and all that stuff used for pioneering. hahhs. its so durtyy!! heh.

and just before our hike, that ms tan, is so irritating i tell you. cant stand herr. she's so sarcastic. telling me and amira, "both prefects of the school, dont even know the school rules. come into school with pe shorts. if you cant find a skirt in time, your buddy will just have to fail." wa lao. i just felt like thrashing her at that tym okayys. wtf. she just have something against me and amira okay.

we reached school on time and ms tan came out. yups. they had some briefing after that and we're all dismissed for the day. syf people still had one more day to practice. hehhs.

`i dont like those rumours going on. its all not true. please. i've got better things to do. i dont always want to pass by her class. i was sending my friend to her chinese class. she asked me to.

`if you think im not capable of that position, then let her be. let her be what you think she is capable of. she is better than me anyway. we are just pissed at the way you said you were losing confidence in us. fast. very fast. its not as if i dont want to prove that i have the potential or something, its the lousy time management i have okay. i dont leave the job half done. i know myself well enough. just dont go around asking people whether i said things abt what happen. i dont like it.

`please dont go around backstabbing people okay. such a hypocrite. people's impressions of you are not what you think they are. dont always think you are popular among people.

2005-02-16T19:37:00.000-08:00

hello~
almost late for school with chantel today. the services were so slow and not frequent okayys. got so irritated then wanted to take cab and this kc girl bravely came up to us and said she came first. so rubbish can. and like 20 minutes before the school bell rang, the bus finally arrived. it was less than a minute before the bell rang when i reach school okay. so lucky cia...hehhs

lessons was as boring as usual. hahs. and i totally hate that chinese teacher okays. im all out to argue with her in everything. she's so freaking irritating. she's either giving me a borderline pass or fail no matter how hard i try in every assignment. so unfair can. and the whole two periods she's always looking and staring at me, waiting to catch me for talking in class. wth. she think she damn cool lahhs..

after school went to tm to collect my order from famous amos. haha! and then i kept wanting to go home and sleep but no one wanted to follow me, so i continued walking and complaining that i need my afternoon slp! hehhs. but i didnt slept eventually. cause had tuition later on. zzzzz...

it was damn boring.

2005-02-06T18:53:00.000-08:00

happy chinese new year!
it'll be one and a half more days before chinese new year and then I'll get to collect red packets! yayy. but then I'll need to pay off my brother's fifty bucks I borrowed to pay for my broken lcd screen. Its so not worth it.

i've just spent my whole afternoon designing the council board. it takes up so much time. and just think how many characters there are in character development council? i had to cut those letters one by one with the pen knife on a damn big vanguard sheet. and its two layers. it gives me a big sense of satisfaction when i'm finally done with it. its tough work. they better give me credits for this. hahaa!

i'm so looking forward to valentine's day! i know what to make for everyone ready! i think its so unique. im intending to give away forty hand made by me! anyone who wants one can just tag on my blog or message me.. hehh. =))

t0odles!

2005-01-29T13:07:00.000-08:00

i miss camp ready. a two hour trip from singapore to malaysia when we finally reached the campsite. Its actually a very big farm, with lots of amira's long distance relatives and siblings. the cows. donkeys. and horses.

the weather was superr hot. but i didnt become dark. sad cia. and we started pitching our dome six-men tents. so much easier to pitch than the eight-men tents. but the tents were stuffy and hot inside. like sauna. only worse than that.

our lunch, dinner and breakfast were the same for three days. they only added fishballs in the soup. and there were lots of houseflies and mozzies flying to our food every second. so irritating. and i'd spend the whole time shooing all of them.

we had kayaking first. joy's my partner. feebie and karen always want to challenge us when they know they can never beat us! hahha! but we had lots of fun la. we change activities with 35 and did raft polo. its like captain's ball in the water. so fun. ada almost fell off the water while trying to get the ball, with annie clinging onto her foot. so farnie. then christabella really fell off the water. she look so stupid! hahhaa!

yup. then had shower. the eight cubicles just sucked la. no flush . no shower. just toilet bowl and water hose. and so many bugs! yuck. luckily we bathe with clean water. the next few classes had to bathe with brown, dirty water cause the water tank has used up already. poor little things. haa.

at night was freezing cold. feebie and karen slept in our tent first den went back later cause ms nunis wanted to check who switched tents. then feebie came rushing into our tent in the morning to search for a sleeping bag cause she's feeling cold..

that morning. we had trekking at gunung lambak. stupid mountain so high. 1.6km. i can barely breathe when reaching the 800m mark. hahaa! they have a never ending flight of "stairs". luckily we went in the morning. its hot in the afternoon.

after had raft-building and some get into the lake and cross to the other side thing. the water so brown and murky. I cant even see anything beneath it. our class won 35 for both activities. yay!

feebie and I were the campfire mc's for the camp. we were so freaking nervous at first. and got some tips from an instructor. it screwed up at first. when the secthrees din want to sing the cannibal king. but it gradually became better. our class won two prizes out of four. the best flag and best campfire item. so happy and proud of our class! hahhaa! then some loser class say that we had lots of time to practice cause we're the most stupid class in express. wtf. so loserrss just cause they din win.

an instructor was screaming at the loud hailer cause we havent slept after the campfire. then tiff had vinegar spilled by someone on her camp bag. the whole tent just smelt of vinegar. everyone in that tent had to sleep in other ppl's tent. and all 5 tents had an extra member. so squeezy. but was fun too.

the next morning. we drew lots and had area cleaning. luckily we dont need to clean up toilets and bring the kayaks back. we just needed to pick up litter in the whole campsite. are we lucky or wad rite. hahaa! had some debriefing and got some appreciation from the teachers and instructors. yups. slept in the bus and reached school aroung 6:15.

spikeybuddies~ freebie and karen
sexybuddies~ amira and tiff
prettybuddies~ joy and me!